The Mental Emotional Health Blog

I decided to stray a little from the world of mental health today and add some variety. A while ago on my sports-related blog on SportingNews.com (link is on the right of this page), I posted an entry on how some people on sports radio talk. I’ll adjust it a little, so if any of you have ever heard someone “talking sports” and it didn’t make sense, this should help. Also, if you want to sound like you understand sports without having to spend a lot of time immersing yourself in it, this will help. Believe me, there are many sports analysts that love hearing themselves talk and have learned little phrases to make themselves sound smarter. Here’s my list of 10:

1. “I mean, here’s a guy who . . .” This phrase is used to add weight to a point you’re trying to make. It’s much easier to say, “Derek Jeter is a leader and a clutch hitter”, but that’s boring for sports talk. It’s more sports-like to say ,”I mean, here’s a guy who’s a leader, and a clutch hitter.”

2. “You look at . . .” Again, just a phrase that adds to a point, probably an obvious one. This phrase is used several times a day in sports radio.

3. “I’m forced to consider . . .” This is a lot like #2. Again, you’re probably emphasizing an obvious point, as if you’re using your intelligence.

4. Using athletes names as if they are general nouns. Anyone can say this, sports fan or not. As long as you get the right position, you’re safe in talking about anyone. Example: “He’s never going to be a Brett Favre, or a John Elway, or even a Tom Brady.”

5. A continuation of #4 is using the plural form, as if several of each sports superstar actually exist. Examples: “Teams need guys like this, you know the Kobe Bryants and the Michael Jordans and the David Robinsons.”

6. This one takes a little homework, but the internet has tons of stats from all sports. Use a stat from last year, something around the drive to the playoffs, and relate it to this year. “Last year in the month of August, this baseball team hit .348, which was tops in the NL. This year, they’re hitting .252 through August 25th.” No one can dispute your point because no one cared enough to actually look it up before you said it, and probably won’t afterward. (Note: In case you didn’t know, in baseball .252 is spoken “two-fifty two”.)

7. Treat the obvious as if it isn’t. Examples would include: “You know, the Celtics are the Celtics.” “Bill Parcells is gonna be Bill Parcells.” “If this team can’t score points, they’re just not going to beat anybody.” “Ahman Green isn’t hitting the holes because there aren’t any.”

8. “That said . . .” Ahhhh, this one’s a beaut. These two words allow you to make two points at the same time, probably in an attempt to sound like you’re looking at a topic intelligently. You can even contradict yourself if you want. Example (also using the obvious method in #7): “Notre Dame is a team that really struggled on defense last year, and now they’re without Brady Quinn and other important players. That said, Notre Dame is Notre Dame so they might surprise some people.”

9. Ask a simple question and throwing in a important-sounding but pretty much isolated stat. “How can this team have the best average starting field position in the league and still not score points?”

10. Just answer your own question. “How did this guy pitch 235 innings during the regular season and still have enough in that arm to throw a complete game in the 2nd game of the World Series? I’ll tell you how: superb conditioning and he’s just a freak of nature.”

I hope you enjoyed my departure from the norm today in the Mental Emotional Health Blog, and as always I welcome your comments. Thanks for stopping by.