Behavior Cycles
Posted on May 5th, 2008 by 
Devin
Devin Cycles are recurring patterns of behavior related to thoughts and emotions. Sometimes a cycle can involve addictive substances, such as alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, or other illicit drugs. A cycle can also involve gambling, food (eating disorder patterns), shopping, or hypersexual habits. Each one of these substances and habits can be damaging to an individual and his/her family and friends. Also, behavior cycles can really mess with relationships directly. Some couples get stuck in yelling, abuse, or dishonesty cycles. If you are concerned about you or someone close to you being stuck in one of the cycles mentioned above, contact your therapist, clergy/spiritual mentor, physician, nurse, or another healthcare professional and be honest.
So what can you do? Sometimes it helps to look past the cycle itself to consider what purpose a cycle has. A couple might be stuck in a yelling/anger cycle because one or both didn’t learn to bond appropriately growing up or in earlier relationships, and since anger can be an intense emotion the couple feels closer through conflict. You could think of it like this: every cycle has a center of gravity holding it together. Figure out what the center is (i.e. what purpose the cycle serves), and you will have a better understanding of how to alter or break the cycle.
| 3.4 (1 person) |
Hi Devin~
I like what you say, but I also think it’s important for people to realize that (from a systems perspective) each person in a relationship has an investment in maintaining the homeostasis. It can be really difficult to change the balance in a relationship, even if both people realize there’s a negative cycle going on.
A couple of books that I found really helpful, because they addressed this process of changing the cycle in relationships in a very practical way, were “The Dance of Anger” and “The Dance of Intimacy” - both by Harriet Lerner. What do you think of them? Do you think what she has to say has any merit?
I am so with you in regards to people and learned behaviors.
Bad habits are like and carousel in life…they continue to go around and around and unless one takes a step off will it ever end or redirect its negative energies.
It is so nice to come across more positive people that are reaching out to make our world a better and more positive place for us now and our future families!
Keep moving forward!
DorothyL
Hi Dorothy! Thank you for your comment. I like the carousel metaphor.