The Mental Emotional Health Blog

Have you ever noticed times when someone tells you something dramatic or even outrageous, and then pauses . . . as if you’re supposed to respond a certain way? Have you ever caught yourself saying something and waiting for the big reaction (after they have read your mind)?

Problem is, unless you know someone really well including the mood the person is in at the time, you are assuming the person will react only one way. That’s what I call a poor use of speaking for effect.

Some ways you can tell another person is speaking poorly for effect are when you notice yourself thinking, “Where is this going?”, or “And the point is what?”, or there’s just an unpleasant silence where you look blankly at each other.

If you want a certain reaction, prepare the other person by saying something like, “I want to know if you feel the same way I do on this one . . .” and then say what you’re going to say. That will at least let them know you’re looking for them to share their thoughts/feelings, instead of wondering what your point is.