How To Accept Compliments
Posted on July 17th, 2008 by Devin
Accepting compliments is essential to healthy self-esteem. Believing compliments is also important, but that won’t happen anyway if you’re not even accepting them. Here are some simple things to remember:
- Say “Thank you”, or “thanks”, or “I appreciate that”.
- If you know your self-esteem is low, you don’t have to worry about an overabundance of pride, so don’t minimize or argue with the person giving the compliment. Avoid saying things like, “Not really”, “No big deal”, “I don’t see it that way”, or “You’re just saying that”.
- Do not tell yourself things like, “They just don’t know me.” Compliments are often behavior-based or fact-based, such as “Nice job on the project”, or “I like your shoes”. So again, don’t argue with the compliment internally.
If you want to start believing compliments, after you say “thank you”, ask yourself, “What if you are right?” Honestly consider it being at least possible.
What great posts! You define and explain in such clear terms.
I wholeheartedly agree with your take on compliments. Most of us are able to notice our shortcomings fairly easily. Sometimes we need help to see what we are doing well.
Also, our graceful acceptance of the kind words of another allows them to be a gift-giver…
I appreciate you stopping by, and thanks so much for your compliments. Take care; it’s always good to see you visiting here.
Hi Devin - great post here! I agree that it can be hard to take compliments gracefully, but I’ve found that learning to accept them and believe them is probably one of the most empowering things I’ve done for myself.
Interestingly, something that has helped me learn to accept that people might mean what they say sincerely is to look for opportunities to sincerely compliment other people. I’m not sure why exactly that’s helped (or maybe it’s just that both things are part of the same journey of growth, rather than one causing the other), but the association is definitely there!
Blessings and thanks for making me think
Starfire
It’s true that sometimes sincerely finding the good in others helps you use that perspective for yourself. It still needs to be an active choice, however. Some people can compliment others all day, but they don’t feel the positive influence they’ve had because they don’t look at themselves positively.
Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend.
Some time when I receive any compliment,I add little proud in my attitude,so I think that receiving compliments is good but not always.
Essays - Thank you for visiting and commenting. My focus for this post was on people that have trouble accepting compliments in general. I think I understand your point. I think being humble is better than being proud as well.