The Mental Emotional Health Blog

The most important factor that keeps two people together in a relationship is not communication, trust, or their shared experiences, it is simply this: they both want to be together. When that is established, all other factors are secondary.

When you feel like you have to prove yourself to someone, or in general, do the opposite of what isn’t working.

• If you are more upset with the feeling itself but then you don’t actually work to prove yourself, go ahead and try to prove yourself. Give yourself credit for trying.
• If you spend most of your time actively trying to prove yourself, stop trying so hard. Tell yourself you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.
• If you don’t know why you feel the need to prove yourself, apply some thought and identify some factors that lead to this feeling.

Most people hate insomnia. The feeling of not being able to fall asleep despite being tired, the thoughts that race from one subject to another, the difficulty concentrating, and all the reasons you think of for needing rest can all add up to exhaust you. Of course, being exhausted doesn’t always help you get to sleep either.

So instead of fighting insomnia, switch your focus to getting rest, regardless of whether you sleep or not. Anxiety is tough to deal with, and is one of the main factors in preventing sleep. By decreasing your own anxiety and tension, you allow your body and mind to rest. Don’t get me wrong, sleep is an ideal way for the human body to recharge and reset itself. But if you can’t sleep, at least focus on relaxation.  If you happen to fall asleep while relaxing, enjoy it. Either way, you’re getting some rest.

For a few ideas on how to do decrease anxiety, check out my previous post: Decreasing Anxiety .

Have you ever noticed times when someone tells you something dramatic or even outrageous, and then pauses . . . as if you’re supposed to respond a certain way? Have you ever caught yourself saying something and waiting for the big reaction (after they have read your mind)?

Problem is, unless you know someone really well including the mood the person is in at the time, you are assuming the person will react only one way. That’s what I call a poor use of speaking for effect.

Some ways you can tell another person is speaking poorly for effect are when you notice yourself thinking, “Where is this going?”, or “And the point is what?”, or there’s just an unpleasant silence where you look blankly at each other.

If you want a certain reaction, prepare the other person by saying something like, “I want to know if you feel the same way I do on this one . . .” and then say what you’re going to say. That will at least let them know you’re looking for them to share their thoughts/feelings, instead of wondering what your point is.

Although it is a cliche, living “one day at a time” is tremendously valuable when applied. So on rough days, take comfort that the day will end. When you have a good day, savor it.