The Mental Emotional Health Blog

There is certainly no shortage of books, websites, magazine, and people who can give advice on how to parent. In fact, the multitude of parenting perspectives out there can be overwhelming, confusing, or can make you feel like you’re parenting the wrong way.

So today I’ll try to simplify it all: If your children’s basic needs are met, they know right from wrong, you tell them that you love them and that they belong, they are getting an education, and they are up to date on medical and dental care, then you’ve accomplished the basics of parenting.

Discipline strategies, learning activities, and finding ways to entertain your children are all helpful. But focus on accomplishing the basics first. You may provide everything in the list above and yet doubt your own parenting if your child is not grateful or well-behaved. Note what you do as a parent, pay attention to the things you do that work, and give yourself credit.

Children are not well-educated judges on how well you have fulfilled your parenting duties. Actually, if they do act like they are the rightful judges of your parenting, they’re probably deciding to not behave or listen to you a good part of the time. Stick to what you know is right, provide the needs they have as children, and keep at it. Children are smart these days, so if they have a basic suggestion that is helpful then listen and consider it. You are the final authority on how to parent your children, though. You know them best.

Don’t give up, and get support from other parents, teachers, coaches, or health providers when you need it. Someone once told me, “Parenting is the toughest job you’ll ever love.”

According to George Carvalho, “stigma is the shame that individuals in society place upon others suffering with mental health issues to distance themselves clearly and definitively from them” (http://www.namiscc.org/newsletters/April02/ClientStigma.htm).  Although I don’t necessarily agree with everything he states in his article, it’s a short and interesting read.

Stigma in mental health has decreased somewhat over the past few years, in part due to a slight adjustment by the news media, television, and movies. More often, however, I think it has been the combined effort of mental health providers, medical providers, social workers, and some government officials that have worked to lessen stigma. In 2004, Wisconsin’s Lt. Governor Barbara Lawton joined the fight against mental health stigma in a big way (http://www.wimentalhealth.org/userimages/LawtonHonorary.pdf). Thank you, Lt. Governor Lawton!

Actually the best way to defeat stigma is word-of-mouth, person-to-person, by people that are educated about mental health. Mental health concerns can be debilitating and frustrating. Continuing the stereotypes about mental health, and using derogatory terms like “crazy”, “psycho”, and “wacko”, make life more difficult for people that many times are trying to get better. Jokes and laughing about mental health stereotypes on television shows and movies don’t help either.

As I said before, the best way to defeat stigma is person-to-person. Remember that everyone is a person, so try to say “He or She is a person with Bipolar”, instead of “He or She is Bipolar”. Everyone has normal in them, and everyone has something that could be considered a mental illness trait. But we’re all human.

Having a moral compass is knowing what is right and what isn’t.

Having moral strength is doing what is right when you are tempted to do something wrong, or tempted to do nothing.