Expect Anger, to Diffuse It

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Posted on September 3rd, 2008 by

Anger management is not hoping that you won’t be angry. So give yourself a good chance to diffuse anger by expecting that you will, in fact, get angry. I have worked with several clients, male and female, that have worked on their anger and then get surprised when they get angry again (For example: “I got mad again last night, so this stuff didn’t work!”). That is when I explain what might be obvious to some: Anger management is learning to manage the anger reactions you will have, not eliminating anger as an emotion.

The next time you feel stressed, frustrated, or annoyed in a specific situation, tell yourself that you are going to get angry, accept it, and then figure out how you want to handle it appropriately. Then you’ll have a better chance to manage your anger and will allow your rational brain to stay involved in the process.

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Tags: Anger, Communication, Parenting, Relationships, Self-talk, emotions, workplace //

2 Responses to “Expect Anger, to Diffuse It”

Janet Summit (Check me out!) // Sep 17, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I think this is a great article. It’s great advice. We teach a principle of emotional health that is exactly what you are talking about: Emotions produce action.

When we look at anger that way, we can see that since it is an emotion, it will produce an action. That’s why it is so important to know what our emotions are — they will produce some type of action! We can’t just say that we’re not going to get angry — that’s unrealistic. We’re not guilty for being angry, but we sure are responsible for those actions!

Thanks for your article!

Janet Summit
http://www.peacethroughprinciples
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Devin (Check me out!) // Sep 21, 2008 at 9:56 am
Janet - Well stated, and I agree. Thanks for the comment!
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