A Therapist’s Emotions
It may be obvious, but a therapist experiences several emotions during each client session. Some therapists might deny that or not be aware of it, but it is definitely true for me. So I made some mental notes during a session with one of my regular clients, focusing on the different emotions I was experiencing during the conversation. After the session, I completed the list and it surprised me. These are all from one 50-minute session:
- pleased
- thankful
- curious
- confused
- confident
- tentative
- apprehensive
- anxious
- concerned
- content
With some of these feelings, I was mirroring the emotions I sensed from the client. Other times, they were just my emotional reactions to what was being discussed. In any case, it shows that therapists go through a range of emotions just like clients do.
An important perspective I learned in graduate school that I still hold to today is this: if showing your emotions will help the client then let them out; if not, keep them to yourself. (At least until later, when you do need to deal with your emotions wherever they came from.) As a therapist, it is crucial to realize that the point of therapy is to experience and use emotions productively. The point is not to get to a “level of maturity” that is emotion-less.
By the way, the client felt better at the end of the session that day than when we started. I felt better later after I processed my own feelings.
This is very interesting. It is easy to forget that a therapist is human just like everyone else.
Thanks for your transparency!
Cyndi