Guest Article - Communicating with your Teen
Hi everyone, and thank you for visiting! Today we have a guest article from Echo Malibu, an adolescent treatment center in California. There are links to the center below.It can be tough to communicate with teens when things are going well; even more during difficult times. This article addresses this concern many parents face.
Devin
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Generally, the teenage years are complex for almost everyone involved. Teenagers face a wide variety of issues throughout the years and they are forced to emerge and find out who they are as individuals. On the other hand, parents are forced to find new ways to communicate with their children, help them figure out right from wrong, and deal with the good and bad choices their children make. If you are a parent now dealing with a teen that has drug, alcohol, anger, or mental issues you may feel overwhelmed and out of answers. Regardless of the issues at hand, the most important thing you can maintain is open communication. You can also reach out to adolescent treatment programs for assistance.
- Be Understanding - As a parent you have to remember that your child did not set out to become an addict. They might have tried drugs or alcohol without understanding their addicting potential. Honestly, if you were to ask your teen if they ever thought they would become an addict the answer would most likely be no! Your teen may be confused and not even understand or be able to process their dependency on drugs. Your goal is to break the ice about the issue and let your teen feel safe and secure to open up. Ensure your child that you understand and that you love them and are coming from a place of concern.
- Remain Calm - It’s important to talk to your teen and do your best not to yell. It can be extremely easy to let your pain, frustration, and aggravation escape during a heating argument. Remember, your teen needs to feel like they can share feelings and specific details with you and a yelling match is not the place they will feel like discussing issues.
- Explore Solutions - Once you begin the discussion with your child you should introduce adolescent treatment programs and other options. Drug abuse, alcoholism, and sever mental health issues do not just disappear because you have started to discuss them in the open. These are severe issues that can require professional assistance. Adolescent treatment programs can be a safe and secure place for your teen. These types of institutions create specialized programs that are catered to help and treat your teen.Sharing your teenage dilemmas might be a good place to start. You can share your issues and interactions with drugs and alcohol as you entered adulthood. Honesty and trust are the two key tools to speaking openly with your child. Do your best to remember the confusion you once felt as a teen, but don’t try to be their friend. It is your job to remain a parent and do what is best for your child.The entire family will have an impact on the adolescent’s success. Your spouse, your other children, and your extended family will all be affected by a teen’s drug use or mental health issues. Your family will support the teen and in turn, might need support too. Chat with the adolescent treatment programs and find out what support is available for the rest of your family.
From Echo Malibu (website)
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This is a great article about opening a dialogue with troubled teens. So often, the focus of the parents is on exerting absolute control, and problems like substance abuse and mental health issues go overlooked.
I would also like to recommend that, in looking for teen mental health resources, it is best to avoid any punitive programs that use isolation, verbal abuse, and harsh confrontation as part of the treatment plan. Find a program where your teen will be treated with respect and kindness as he or she struggles to put the pieces back together.
Debra Stang
Alliant Professional Networking Specialist
Thanks fro this article. Yeah, I agree with debra. As parents, we should be calm in spirit if we will discipline our children especially the teens. We should not be harsh in words and actions to them.
Debra - Yes, sometimes the more control you think you are exerting as a parent, the less control you actually have. I think treatment programs can be direct and strict without being punitive. Sometimes with major issues some confrontation might be necessary, but there needs to be a good reason for the confrontation and it should still be respectful. Thanks for the comment, Debra!
jasper - I like the way you said “calm in spirit”. As a parent myself, I know it isn’t always easy to maintain, but even on rough days being harsh isn’t helpful. As the grown-ups, it is up to us to model self-control. I think it is appropriate to show anger, as long as it is in control and we “keep our head on straight”. Thanks!