“The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or in defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment..” - Bruce Lee

I have lost count of the number of times I have thought about what I wanted to say to someone during a difficult time, and pictured how that would improve the relationship. I tried to anticipate the outcome of the conversation, based only on my assumptions of how my words would be received. It has rarely played out the way I pictured. There are times I have been convinced I was right and had my reasons to back it up. There are times I knew I needed to apologize for something and pictured how that would go. I have learned that thinking, I will just say this and things will be okay, is not a productive way to think.

I believe visualization and positive thinking are important. Thinking about events ahead of time helps me prepare mentally and emotionally. But a habit I need to correct is anticipating the outcome of conversations. I have tried to force a positive outcome in my thinking, while ignoring someone else’s freedom to respond. I haven’t let the nature of the conversation take its course.

It is okay to prepare, but when the time comes to talk to someone in a relationship, go with the flow. Listen and respond, without anticipating or assuming.