Sometimes you do not know how to carry a burden until you have picked up and felt the weight of it. At my current job, I pick up some heavy objects at times. I can look at the objects and think I know where to get the best grip, but it isn’t until I actually pick it up and experience the heaviness.
It is like that with emotional heaviness as well. There are times you can try to prepare for something sad if you know it is coming, but you don’t know how to carry yourself until the heaviness of the pain hits you.
So how do you deal with heaviness? First, if you have experienced heaviness before, accept some of it. If you are able to find some time by yourself, let your emotions out for 30-60 minutes (that works better for me at night, but do what works best for you). Second, try to pull yourself together emotionally by distracting yourself, getting out of the room where you just let your feelings out, get a drink of water, or something different to adjust your mood back towards normal. You don’t have to get back to normal, just move in that direction. Third, if you feel led to write some thoughts down, or talk with someone you can confide in, or draw, or sing, do it. Finally, get in the habit of dealing with heavy emotions regularly, whether that is daily or weekly. This helps you put boundaries around your feelings so you can control them a little better, and this also helps the healing process. People are emotional beings, and although some feelings are “heavy”, we can learn to carry those feelings.
At work, I have gotten much better at knowing where to life the heavy objects. I have gotten stronger, and although I don’t love lifting heavy stuff I feel more confident that I can handle it. This is similar to emotional “carrying” as well: the more you do it, the better you are at “getting a grip” and carrying the load.
One other piece of advice here: If you are really struggling your emotions, or if it doesn’t feel like you have any emotions and that concerns you, talk with your therapist, counselor, health-care provider, or spiritual leader. You don’t have to carry your burdens alone.
