The Mental Emotional Health Blog

There is a certain kind of strength in friendships that is difficult to find anywhere else. In my mind, a true friendship is a type of relationship that is mutually respectful, helpful, comfortable, full of trust, and enjoyable. At the time you need a friend because you are hurting, or weak, or lonely, the deeper nature of friendship can really show itself. At the same time, if you open up to a friend who is not trustworthy, you can get hurt even more.

Sadly, there are some people who have trouble determining who their true friends are until it’s too late. Now, I realize that some friends seem like friends until they abandon you, or maybe you find out that they were using you for their own goals.

But there is a way for you to get an idea who you can rely on as a friend or not, and today I am going to show you how.

Take a piece of paper, and write the following three headings at the top: “Almost Always”, “Sometimes/Not Sure”, and “Almost Never”. Then, on the left side of the paper, spaced out evenly, write the categories “Just Hanging Out”, “Mentally”, “Emotionally”, “Spiritually”. (If you have a lot of friends, you may want to use one piece of paper for each category.) Then, for each category start placing you friends under each heading, based on your experiences with them. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them, and try not to  give them “the benefit of the doubt”; this activity is designed to help you determine who you can trust in your friendships.

For those of you who have gotten burned by family members, you can use this activity as well. It’s just for you, so you don’t have to show it to anyone.

May you have happy, healthy, and strong friendships.