The Mental Emotional Health Blog

Well, I have no idea why I got thinking about this subject. But since I was stuck thinking about it, all of my wonderful readers have to endure it too. Thanks for stopping by.

Pick-up lines that probably won’t work:

• If you could just read my mind and see how focused I am on you, you would just, um, let’s see . . . anyway, how are you?
• I’m like a fresh pastry: warm and flaky.
• I’m like a snowmobile: I only go out for part of the year, but I’m usually a lot of fun unless there’s barbed wire.
• I am not like a change machine. What, doesn’t that make cents to you?
• How about I call you next month? I’m just out of minutes right now. Actually, make it three months; I have to start paying off some debt.
• Hi, you’re cute. Let’s get away together, and it’s not like anyone is going to get abducted or anything like that. There won’t be anyone else with us, I don’t think.
• Hey, with all the government bailouts lately, how about you bail me out of my loneliness?
• (When flirting online) I have a face for radio, a voice for newspaper, and a personality for internet anonymity.

 Happy New Year everyone!

Here are some interesting quotes I have found lately:

“You can never know everything, and part of what you know is always wrong. Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that. A portion of courage lies in going on anyway.” - Robert Jordan

“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.” - Catherine Aird

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.” - Thomas Merton

“Silver and gold are not the only coin; virtue too passes current all over the world.” - Euripides

“Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.” - Baroness Edith Summerskill

“Some people don’t know how to just accept a miracle.” - Kimberly Willis Holt

Every once in a while I want to get out a jumble of thoughts I have accumulated from therapy sessions. Somehow it helps me refine my therapy style and clears my mind. There are also times when conversation in session progresses to a deep enough level that I find myself considering ideas beyond the therapy room. Here are my thoughts today, and remember that this a glimpse of a few things that fly through a therapist’s mind:

• If the client feels he or she has no options, widen the perspective.
• If he or she feels overwhelmed, narrow the focus.
• Always provide hope.
• Everyone has normal in them, and some forget that.
• Laughter isn’t just the best medicine, it is like pure, cool water that prevents your soul from being dehydrated.
• Music has many great qualities (if it’s good music), and two aspects of music that stand out are its ability to calm your mind, and its ability to affect your mood.
• If you talk on the phone until your ear gets sweaty, you may be on too long.
• Therapy feels like a juggling act to me sometimes. It’s like I have different ideas flying around, and pick one at a time to toss to my client. Sometimes the client drops it, and other times we play catch for a while while I continue juggling.
• People really are interesting.
• Some people are boring, but I generally prefer that to loud and overly dramatic.
• Every person has an opportunity each day to expand his or her mind. It doesn’t need to be earth-shattering or profound. Sometimes a little growth that happens consistently allows the mind to remember its creativity, energy, and power. 

It is simple, but true: If you take yourself too seriously, you are giving up your sense of humor. You don’t need to become a happy, babbling idiot, but you don’t need to deny yourself light-hearted feelings either.

A friend of mine has been frustrated lately with someone asking personal questions, with the obvious intent of getting info for gossip. That got me thinking about different ways to handle questions that aren’t anyone’s business. I thought I’d offer a few ideas:

1) After the person mentions something personal about you they heard from someone, say something like, “I heard that you just can’t stay away from gossip.”

2) Once you can tell the person is starting an inappropriately/private question, dart your eyes back and forth several times between their eyes and their mouth, ear, or hair. Once they ask what you’re looking at, say, “Oh, it’s nothing.” After they ask, “What?” just keep denying it’s anything important. They could be self-conscious for hours.

3) Get a thoughtful look on your face, look up and say as if you’re thinking out loud, “I am trying to figure out if that’s something I want to talk about with you, here at work, in front of all these other people. I’m also wondering why you want to know.” Then give them your full attention again. If they keep at it, say directly to the person: “Now I’m wondering if you are just looking for gossip you can spread to whoever wants to listen.”

4) Be sincere and direct, “I think that’s something for me and my <family/significant other> to figure out, don’t you?”

5) “Do you want me to email you the answer to your question, or should I send a press release to the TV stations in town so everyone knows?” Say this jokingly, and if the person persists get a little more serious and say, “Oh, you seriously want me to answer that? That is funny.”

Have fun with it. You don’t have to let a gossip wreck your day.