The Mental Emotional Health Blog

When you remember and use your strengths, your weaknesses become secondary.

I am taking an business class online right now (as if I didn’t have enough to do already). It’s a great class, and as students we are learning about clarifying your purpose, your vision, and your values. Going through these has reminded me of the phrase, which I’ll paraphrase,”If you do what you love, it isn’t work.”

I read something recently in R.J. Leider’s book, The Power of Purpose, about the idea of purpose being expressed through work . That got me thinking about work mindsets. What if you didn’t always look at work as just work? Instead, what if you looked at each workday as an opportunity to stretch your mind? It is idealistic and simple. Maybe that’s why it appeals to me.

Anyway, I tried that mindset today. I forgot for a good part of the day, but did manage a few times to remain aware of stretching my mind and my limits instead of just working. Now that the workday is over, I feel I accomplished something personal in a small but significant way.

Anyway, feel free to try it out yourself and let me know what you think. Take care!

Anger management is not hoping that you won’t be angry. So give yourself a good chance to diffuse anger by expecting that you will, in fact, get angry. I have worked with several clients, male and female, that have worked on their anger and then get surprised when they get angry again (For example: “I got mad again last night, so this stuff didn’t work!”). That is when I explain what might be obvious to some: Anger management is learning to manage the anger reactions you will have, not eliminating anger as an emotion.

The next time you feel stressed, frustrated, or annoyed in a specific situation, tell yourself that you are going to get angry, accept it, and then figure out how you want to handle it appropriately. Then you’ll have a better chance to manage your anger and will allow your rational brain to stay involved in the process.

Depression, depending on how severe it affects a person, can make just about everything tough. Simple or routine activities may seem huge or impossible. That’s one way depression nails a person’s motivation. Fatigue is often at play too.

Depressive symptoms rarely go away quickly; it is almost always gradual. During the low times, it is tough to want to get outside, go for walks, or be active physically. Some obviously still work at their jobs, but I am talking about healthy activities outside of work. Since depression typically involves a gradual recovery, the benefits of being active are delayed. That means if you go for a 20 minute walk every day for a week, you may not feel any increased motivation or benefit to your moods for maybe another week or two.

This delayed benefit is one of the main reasons why it is so important to actively maintain your health when you don’t feel like it. Depressive thoughts will tell you things like, “Even though I walked yesterday, it didn’t help“, or even “Nothing is helping, so there’s no use trying“. Try to remember that your thought-patterns themselves are infected by depression as much as the rest of you.

Keep these points in mind:

• You will feel tired and unmotivated, and you will think it will continue that way. Remember your brain is affected by depressive symptoms too.
• Regular, healthy nutrition is like medicine that can give your body and mind the strength needed to fight the depression directly, and allow you to have enough energy to stay somewhat active.
• Drink an appropriate amount of water daily. Dehydration is never good, but during a depressive time it’ll rob you of even more energy.
• Avoid alcohol. Alcoholic beverages will probably affect your mood for a short time, maybe even positively. But they will also keep you in a depressive state for days afterward, or make your depression more severe. While you are under the influence of alcohol and other substances your judgment is affected, and if you have had any suicidal thoughts or urges you are risking your life.
• Talk to a health provider, whether it’s a doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, nurse, physician’s assistant, chiropractor, school counselor, psychologist, or social worker. These people can remind you that you can get through depressive states, and help you to monitor yourself. They may also prescribe a medication that might help your system fight depression (anti-depressant).
• Maintain your hygiene daily; it helps.
• Limit your caffeine intake, since caffeine can negatively affect your ability to sleep and your quality of sleep.
• Your depression is not you. Depression is a condition that is affecting you on a deep personal level.

 Don’t give up hope. Even if you feel unmotivated, do something healthy every day. 

Who are you? That’s a simple enough answer, because you can just say your name. But if you are asked to define yourself, that can be difficult.

Some answers to the self-definition answer could be:

1. One or a few of your roles in life (”I’m a parent”, “I’m a teacher”, “I’m a golfer”, etc.)
2. A unique quality or accomplishment (”I am the world record holder for eating a family-sized box of Frosted Flakes in  35.5 seconds.”)
3. Character descriptions (”I’m easy-going, sincere, and have a silly sense of humor.”)
4. “I’m not sure”, or “I don’t know who I am.”

By the way, I don’t even know if someone can eat Frosted Flakes that quickly, and I hope no one ever gets inspired to try. No one would want to be around a person with the resulting sugar rush anyway.

I tend to prefer defining myself with roles and descriptions, which are numbers 1 and 3 from above. But there’s one other way I didn’t mention that is my favorite.

Metaphors, or word-pictures, are powerful and can help define someone in a deeper and sometimes more accurate way. If a person says, “I’m a teacher”, that can give some clues about the person and his/her qualities. But if a person says, “I’m a teacher who is like a drill instructor”, that will provide not only clues but probably some sort of emotion.

If you have never defined yourself with metaphor, analogy, or some sort of word-picture, I invite you to try. Some word-pictures you try won’t seem to fit exactly right, but with practice you can both define yourself and empower yourself. Many of my readers get an idea of who I am from my other posts. But to provide an example as I end today’s entry, I’ll describe myself this way:

I am like a river. I can babble on the surface while I am quiet underneath. I may be quiet on the surface, but flow with constant strength underneath. I can wear down any obstacle, or can move around it if needed. I can blend in with others, but I keep my own current. My Source is not of my making. I merely run the course where the Source placed me.