The Mental Emotional Health Blog

I am taking an business class online right now (as if I didn’t have enough to do already). It’s a great class, and as students we are learning about clarifying your purpose, your vision, and your values. Going through these has reminded me of the phrase, which I’ll paraphrase,”If you do what you love, it isn’t work.”

I read something recently in R.J. Leider’s book, The Power of Purpose, about the idea of purpose being expressed through work . That got me thinking about work mindsets. What if you didn’t always look at work as just work? Instead, what if you looked at each workday as an opportunity to stretch your mind? It is idealistic and simple. Maybe that’s why it appeals to me.

Anyway, I tried that mindset today. I forgot for a good part of the day, but did manage a few times to remain aware of stretching my mind and my limits instead of just working. Now that the workday is over, I feel I accomplished something personal in a small but significant way.

Anyway, feel free to try it out yourself and let me know what you think. Take care!

Who are you? That’s a simple enough answer, because you can just say your name. But if you are asked to define yourself, that can be difficult.

Some answers to the self-definition answer could be:

1. One or a few of your roles in life (”I’m a parent”, “I’m a teacher”, “I’m a golfer”, etc.)
2. A unique quality or accomplishment (”I am the world record holder for eating a family-sized box of Frosted Flakes in  35.5 seconds.”)
3. Character descriptions (”I’m easy-going, sincere, and have a silly sense of humor.”)
4. “I’m not sure”, or “I don’t know who I am.”

By the way, I don’t even know if someone can eat Frosted Flakes that quickly, and I hope no one ever gets inspired to try. No one would want to be around a person with the resulting sugar rush anyway.

I tend to prefer defining myself with roles and descriptions, which are numbers 1 and 3 from above. But there’s one other way I didn’t mention that is my favorite.

Metaphors, or word-pictures, are powerful and can help define someone in a deeper and sometimes more accurate way. If a person says, “I’m a teacher”, that can give some clues about the person and his/her qualities. But if a person says, “I’m a teacher who is like a drill instructor”, that will provide not only clues but probably some sort of emotion.

If you have never defined yourself with metaphor, analogy, or some sort of word-picture, I invite you to try. Some word-pictures you try won’t seem to fit exactly right, but with practice you can both define yourself and empower yourself. Many of my readers get an idea of who I am from my other posts. But to provide an example as I end today’s entry, I’ll describe myself this way:

I am like a river. I can babble on the surface while I am quiet underneath. I may be quiet on the surface, but flow with constant strength underneath. I can wear down any obstacle, or can move around it if needed. I can blend in with others, but I keep my own current. My Source is not of my making. I merely run the course where the Source placed me. 

Feeling overwhelmed is rough. Your emotions cloud your rational thinking, decision-making and problem-solving skills. Your energy tends to drop and fatigue can set in, or energy remains but is more restless and unfocused. You can be exhausted but have trouble sleeping. On a deeper level you may doubt yourself, which affects everything.

There are times that one part of your life that is overwhelming, whether it’s a valued relationship, parenting, school, a full daily schedule, work, dealing with a co-worker or boss, finances, grieving a loss, being a caregiver, or coping with memories. But many times, several or all of the above may happen at once or within a short amount of time.

There is always hope, and there are some phrases that are cliche but still provide comfort and direction:

• “One day at a time” - You can adjust this to one hour or even one minute at a time if you need to.
• “No one is an island.” - The cliche uses “man”, but the point is that you don’t have to do everything by yourself. Allow or ask someone to help you when you need it.
• “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” - Projects and responsibilities take time, and they don’t always fit into neat, exact time-frames. Don’t blindly expect them to.
• “Just do it.” - Thank you, Nike.

Other ideas for what to do when you’re overwhelmed:

• Take care of yourself. If you do, you will have more energy, more focus, and more patience to get through difficult times.
• Connect with your spirituality. There is strength in faith when you feel like you have little or none yourself. And it’s interesting how that spiritual strength, even if it comes from outside of you, often seems to become your own strength.
• Prioritize what you need to do. Make a list of essential things to do that day, no more than 7. These are 7 things you absolutely need to finish, start, or at least work on. If you can check all those items off the list then #8 is to make another list, taking into account your frame of mind, energy level, and time left in the day before getting decent rest for tomorrow. Another great thing about lists is you don’t have to use your overwhelmed mind to remember details, which often wears you out even more.
• Break things up into pieces, which is easier than tackling something big all at once.
• Change your perspective whether it’s reading a book, listening to music, watching something humorous, talking to someone, seeing your therapist, physician, or health-care provider, attending a martial arts or exercise class, going for a walk or jog, or meditating.
• Pick a direction. People frequently lose their personal sense of direction when they are overwhelmed. If there are things you need to accomplish, get started somewhere.
• Remember to eat and stay hydrated. Your mind and body need fuel for energy, and if you aren’t eating, are eating poorly, or are dehydrated, you are allowing the overwhelming feelings a good opportunity to stay around.

I’ll go back to one of the cliches above in closing: “No one is an island”. Ask for help. Everyone is busy, but overwhelmed is not a place you want to be, so allow someone to support you.

  

I saw a Scripture verse today that really got me thinking. In Colossians 3:12, five qualities are listed: “compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline” - The Message. Talk about words to live by!

I like this Bible verse: “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another” - Romans 12:10 (NKJV)

It might sound like a cliche, but wouldn’t the world be a lot easier to live in if we all actually gave honorable preference to each another? Kindly affection sounds pretty good too.